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Communication is a skill that is often overlooked. Indeed, when we are in the presence of others we are constantly communicating, whether we like it or not. What we don’t say often says more than what we do say, and we sometimes say one thing and mean another
Is that a strange question to ask? Well, not really, because many of us will have experienced the manager at work that believes he is communicating through his barrage of memos, or the teacher that talks at the class but doesn’t listen. Both of these people communicate, to a degree, but are they effective?
Verbal communication occurs when we talk, listen, shout, sing, write or read. Non-verbal communication occurs through facial expression and body language, and can be very powerful. We’ve all noticed when someone says one thing and means another. That person has failed to realise that while they verbally communicating one thing, they are sending out a powerful and contradictory message when they quickly cough or shift their eyes from yours.
Athletes in different sports have to communicate with many different people in different ways. The elite athlete might communicate very openly and emotionally with a coach, say, that they have worked with for a long time – even more so than with their own parents. The same athlete may have to hold formal, contractual discussions or conduct press conferences. The variety of different people that an athletes may need to communicate with is great, and include coaching staff, the media, fans, team-mates, scientists, family, officials (umpire/referee) and competitors.
Apart from “all of the time”, of course! There are times at which effective communication are key. These include:
Feedback is essential to the athlete. Positive feedback provides an important source of motivation, while technical feedback is required to make gain a competitive edge. Indeed, what use are goals if you cannot evaluate your progress against them? While the scoreboard is your primary source of feedback against outcome goals, you will often rely on feedback from others to evaluate progress against process goals. You can also learn to give feedback effectively to build a stronger, more constructive relationship with your coach and you can choose how to respond to feedback – learning from the positives and ignoring harsh or unhelpful feedback.
Eliciting feedback from your coach shows that you trust them, and tells them that you are ‘coachable’ and a good investment of their time.
When asking for feedback:
• Give notice – time for the coach to gather their thoughts and give some examples;
• Choose the right time – ask for time outside of practice or competition, when the pressure is off;
• Receive genuinely – do not be defensive, show interest in what is being said, ask for clarification and examples; and
• Show your appreciation – respond positively by following the advice, and thank your coach.
Try to be relaxed and open when receiving feedback. Defensive behaviour– not accepting advice or not giving up your argument has detrimental effects on your relationship with others.
Giving feedback is important to ensure that a coach does not repeat unwanted behaviour and that you get the most out of the time you spend with them. You can also learn to give feedback to team-mates without appearing ‘bossy’ or stepping on anyone else’s toes.
When giving feedback remember to AID your coach or team-mates by stating the Action, the Impact of that Action and the Desired Outcome.
Supportive feedback tends to be best received. It builds trust, is usually reciprocated and helps develop more effective relationships. When you give emotional support you are opening up a likely source of support for when you need it.
During a game, or any other pressure situation, however, you can’t give feedback in this way to a team-mate, as you can’t sit them down and take the time required. In pressure situations bear the following in mind.
Seek to understand, then to be understood (Covey, 1992). Really try to understand the person that you are talking to. If you take the time to listen carefully to their point of view and to understand where they are coming from, you will find it far easier to find a way of getting your message across. Just like any good doctor – diagnose before you prescribe.
When the time comes to deliver your message make eye contact, stay on track, repeat key messages and ask if you are being understood.
Oh yes, I nearly forgot. Think before you speak, or roll your eyes, or throw your hands in the air.
Syer, J., & Connolly, C. (1998) Sporting Body Sporting Mind. Simon and Schuster
Landsberg, M. (1997). The Tao of Coaching. Harper Collins.